It was never about perfection

What Is Self-Esteem, really?

(A Heart2Heart Reflection)

We’ve all heard about self-esteem. We’ve read books, seen quotes, watched videos. And yet, many of us still struggle to feel self-confident, to show ourselves respect, or to truly accept who we are.

So why do we continue to perceive and value ourselves so poorly?

Ideally, we would feel secure, make confident decisions, and face challenges without crumbling under self-doubt. Instead, we often fall into patterns of self-criticism. We feel inadequate. We fear failure and rejection.

The good news? Low self-esteem is not permanent. It’s not fixed. It can change.

But how do we change how we see and value ourselves?

That change begins with our experiences, our relationships, our inner dialogue, and our personal growth. But more deeply, it begins with understanding one essential truth:

We are multidimensional beings — mind, body, and soul.

Only when we acknowledge that all three dimensions must work in balance can we begin to feel truly well. This is the path to reaching our highest potential in a holistic way — just as it was always meant to be.

You’ll know you’re in balance when your perspective widens, your heart feels at peace, and your body begins to heal — naturally, effortlessly.

But here’s where it gets hard: The soul — the third leg of the triad — is the one we've neglected the most. And that’s what creates the imbalance.

We live in a time where the mind and body get all the attention. We chase credentials. We crowd the gyms. We devour books. We obsess over diets, image, money, and performance. We compete over who looks best, knows the most, earns the most.

And while there's nothing wrong with growing or striving, something is missing. Because if this were enough, we would all be joyful.

But we’re not.

We are anxious, depressed, and disconnected. Our minds are overwhelmed, our bodies exhausted — and our souls are silent. We've built a table with only two legs, and it keeps collapsing under the weight of our lives.

It’s time to lift the third leg. It’s time to bring the soul back into the picture.

Somewhere along the way, we bought into the idea that the soul is just poetry, or that it belongs only to religion. We were told the mind is everything — and we believed it. But when we stop questioning and accept everything at face value, we give away control of our own lives.

The mind is powerful. But left unchecked — or in the hands of those who understand its power and use it to influence us — it can lead us astray.

This scattered sense of self that so many of us feel isn’t weakness. It’s a sign that we’ve forgotten who we are.

So what do we do?

We wake up. We reconnect with our consciousness. We take back responsibility for the balance of our being — mind, body, and soul.

Start by giving the soul as much time and care as you give the other two. I promise when you do, you’ll begin to see transformation. You’ll feel it in your heart, your health, your clarity. And yes — you might even wonder why you didn’t start sooner. But there’s no room for regret. What matters is that you’re doing it now. You're redirecting your energy to where it was always meant to go.

And here’s the most beautiful part: once you wake up, you cannot go back to sleep. You become a guardian of consciousness. And with that comes balance. And peace.

Now, a note for those who may hesitate: The soul isn’t about religion or dogma. It’s the sacred part of you. It doesn’t need rituals or rules — just stillness.

Step out of the noise. Find your quiet place. At first, your mind will resist. It’s addicted to activity, to stimulation, to the world. That’s okay. Gently acknowledge your thoughts. Embrace them without judgment. And let them pass. This is awareness. And it begins with observation.

Focus on the thoughts that bring you joy. This is how we start to harness the mind — not suppressing it but guiding it. Once we’re aware of our thoughts, we become aware of ourselves. And from there, we start seeing the world as it is — and our place in it.

We recognize how everything affects us, and how we affect everything. We stop judging. We start appreciating.

And that, in time, turns into gratitude.

Now, I know “gratitude” has become a buzzword. It’s been overused, watered down, turned into a passive concept. But real gratitude is active. Transformative. A practice, not a phrase.

When we understand its true power — and live it — something beautiful happens: Our mind, body, and soul return to balance.

We no longer feel small, powerless, or reactive. We stop living at the mercy of the media, of culture, of outside opinions. We begin to lead ourselves, consciously, lovingly.

We take control of our energy — where we put it, what we absorb, what we allow. We’re no longer puppets of the world or slaves to our own minds.

And that’s when we truly begin to appreciate ourselves — inside and out. That’s when we realize we are enough. We are unique. We are a gift to this world, just by being exactly who we are.

That’s where self-esteem is born. And from there, everything changes.